Monday, February 28, 2005


Well, those four stories I had on the go (only finished "Titty Cutter Town" and submitted it to a professional 'horror' market) are on the back burner today. I've just finished my first pure sci-fi story of 2005 with (hopefully) lots more to come. It's called IN YOUR BOX (3,000 words) and it's the story of a teen who buys these old robo-pets - you can buy all sorts of upgrades for these mechanical buddies, great fun.

I've submitted this to the premier sci-fi website (20 cents per word) and hopefully it'll herald a new era of more grown up Mike Philbin fiction.


update: later in the evening of 28/02/2005, finished the second of those four-stories-on-the-go from the 20/02/2005 post "The Oxford Library Murders". Not sure of the market for it yet. It's a little bizarre, to say the least.

Sunday, February 27, 2005


So, some Hertzan"-obsessed dildo and his girlfriend seems to think I am Alfonz Gebbelsheist.


Exactly. Alfonz Gebbelheist is the abrasive editor at LITERARY HORROR REVIEW*. Well, I am happy to disappoint them and proud that they're desperately trying to keep the name of Hertzan Chimera alive and well, but... it ain't me fellas. I'm not the only editor in the world trying to say something (anything) different and have a bit of fun at your expense. And as I've said, I'd never feature a piece of my own fiction in my own project. I wish Mr 'Gebbelsheist' all the luck in the world and hope our paths cross again in the future.

Keep on dreamin' on, fella and lady.

*warning - if you don't have a pop-up blocker, this place is gonna hurt.*

Saturday, February 26, 2005


It's official - I'm wasting away.

I've not been watching what I eat or doing any more exercise/walking/cycling than I usually do but... I went for my hair cut today and Ben, the barber, is looking at me funny. It's been two months or less since last I visited the barbers. Ben goes, "You've lost weight, Mike."

"Have I?" I ask him. Wondering whether to take it as a compliment or panic. Ah, well. *shrugs*

Friday, February 25, 2005


...watched a great video tonight called "Ripley's Game". It stars John Malkovicz reprising the role first made famous by Matt Damon in "The Talented Mister Ripley". I've never read any Patricia Highsmith novels but I tell you for free, I got an itch in my reading nerve to get hold of some of her work after enjoying both these novels. Malkovicz was colder and more bathed in corruption in THIS film than he was opposite Glenn Close in LES LIASON DANGEREUSE (the adapted version a strange book of french letters - no pun intended).


Tuesday, February 22, 2005


Both and have uploaded the a trailer for the brand new (and VERY anticipated) Linklater-directed movie version of Philip K Dick's nut-job novel A SCANNER DARKLY.

Here's the ifilm trailer. The 50K and 200K versions are free but you've gotta sign up for the 500K version.

Here's the yahoo trailer

Take your pick.


Hey, you're gonna get on your high horse and denounce me before I've even started? Wait just one cotton-pickin' minute.

Of course maths works. We use it all the time. The screen is pure maths. Pure on/off. Pure invented reality. Congratulations to mankind for being so bright ... but just you wait for a DIVIDE BY ZERO error to awaken you to the fundamental wrongness of mathematical thought.

Here's why math don't work.

It's all a case of interpretation. I'm not talking about stacks of data utilised in the form of graphs, barcharts and pie charts of statisticians here. I'm talking about fundamental properties.

Appleness, for example. Here's the only use of math since time immemorial. I have one apple.

That's where math should have stopped. But even that bit about math isn't true. I can say NOTHING about the apple or its appleness by the use of the apple unit. After all, what is this one unit telling us? It's saying that technically we have all agreed that an apple is a unified element. Devoid of properties. In our human minds we don't need to distinguish between a green, red, bitter, sweet, large, small, good or bad apple. We just need to know that on the owner's spreadsheet he has ONE APPLE.

How can math help you survive a food shortage? Well in this basic sense it can't. You have marked one apple. How big is it? What value does it have? Not important. One apple is the value. But by doing this we are ignoring a million other properties about the apple that might be equally important reference material. Is it the last apple in existence for example. Imagine, from this day forward, there are no more apples, let's call it an apple disaster. Wouldn't it be of extreme importance to be able to note the difference between (i) an apple and (ii) the last apple in existence.

If math worked, there would be an implicit IMPORTANCE factor associated with the particular unit for the particular apple. The unit itself is part of the apple. Not the result of cross-matched Venn diagrams to give its properties. But the one-ness of the apple. What I'm saying is that if math were useful or usable in the real world you'd be able to 'flavour' the apple for importance.

Mike, you're an idiot. That's why we have language. Nope, language and math are VERY DIFFERENT. You can't mix them - they're like oil and water. Apple is a word. One is number. You'll see here how I can't strip the 'one' from the apple and apply it to the one of, say, an elephant. Unless it was an elephant sized apple or maybe an apple in the shape of an elephant.

Gah, I'll write more later...

Monday, February 21, 2005


Quentin S Crisp (who contributed his three-part views on Japanese horror (after spending a couple years there on his studies) and the Momus interview for Horror Quarterly) recently uploaded a pseudo-obituary of TerrorTales/HorrorQuarterly charting the personal influence this has metaporphosing website had on his life as a writer, and a great writer, of the future.

Here is Quentin's Tribute to the death of yet another non-mainstream outlet for the creative urge.


This from Times Online:

Hunter S. Thompson, the American author and journalist died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound at his home in Colorado on Sunday.

The 67-year-old hero of counter culture and creator of "gonzo journalism", best known for his book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, was found by his son Juan on Sunday evening according to the Aspen Daily News.

"On February 20, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson took his life with a gunshot to the head at his fortified compound in Woody Creek, Colorado."

Thompson's life and extraordinary drug-inspired adventures were brought to the screen in a film of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, starring Johnny Depp.

And on a personal note: HST was one of my favourite authors - he really went out there and wrote his books his way, he was funny, crazy, scary. A true 'horror' writer in other words, you feared what his next skit was gonna be, where his next turn in the shark would take you, the hapless reader dragged along for the adventure of HST's life. There was no other writer like him up until that point or since. He was a true original (as all creatives SHOULD, at least strive to, be).


Sunday, February 20, 2005


I thought my new life as Mike Philbin the writer of more personalised, easy-reading dreamlike fiction was gonna be an easy stroll through future prose and leisurely cruises through books yet undreamed.

No such luck. Seems I've gotten myself FOUR short stories on the go. They're titled:

The Oxford Library Murders - DONE (28/02/2005).
Time Gifts.
Space Gifts.
Titty Cutter Town - DONE (21/02/2005).

Killing Hertzan Chimera was the best thing I did for my creative freedom and literary liberation, he had become a millstone around my neck and now I'm FREEEEE!!!!

Friday, February 18, 2005


This is advance notice.
With respect to the forthcoming (autobiographical) book THE LIFE AND DEATH OF HERTZAN CHIMERA, I've just secured two interviews. And when I say secured, I don't mean they're yet to be done. I responded (fully) to the two sets of questions. And the interviews have been accepted for publication. Deal. Is. Done.

The first interview (interviewer David L Tamarin) is a feature article in New York's newest print publication RED SCREAM magazine and will focus mainly on the aforementioned autobiography, as well as what makes me tick, artistically (and yes, that includes my writings). Here's a sneak peek at the feature launch list for those who wanna get your copies ordered early.

The second interview (interviewer Dustin LaValley) is for M.A.zine (issue 3). The M.A. part of the zine's title stands for, of course, MISANTHROPISTS ANONYMOUS. A perfect venue for my kinda ascerbic spurting vent!

Now fuck off and read something less boring instead.


Free Fiction issue 10 is the gut-wrenching story VINCENT LAVENDER - originally published back in 1989 in the Red Stains anthology from Creation Books, and the #1 story on the Horror Authors Network website (now defunct) where it was called VIXEN-NAKED ULTRA-LUNCHEON. This is a very important story because a) it was a story I wrote before the Hertzan Chimera writing persona took possession of my fingertips and b) it was sub-edited by none other than James Havoc, of 'Raism', 'Satanskin' and 'Butchershop in the Sky' notoriety.



Wednesday, February 16, 2005


Nice to see that my hateful, nasty, twisted little gimpo is still stalking me, and "Hertzan" is still dead.

Here's an entry from this blog's tracker, today.
16 Feb, Wed, 03:39:52 MSIE 6 Windows XP

Jesus, you stalker, let it go. Get over it. "Hertzan" is dead and is not returning. Now go sob in your (prescription-drug-enhanced) beer.


Well, it's been a while since I did one of my classic Oxford Library posts, so strap yourself in and get ready for acres of dull tedium.

I'm here at the Oxford library (you guessed, didn't you?), I've got this book from teh sci-fi shelves. Philip K Dick's DO ANDROIDS DREAM OF ELECTRIC SHEEP? but that's not what this post is about.

This post is about the Police. I'm sat here reading the Dick book - it's a lot more entertaining than I remember, when I read it in my youth (this may go back to my earlier mention of how PKD books are ONLY entertaining to those who have already had a few things happen to them in 'life'). Anyway...

I'm reading this book and suddenly, among the usual browsers and seat sniffers, there's this small group of police men (well, two police men and a police woman, or is that two male and one female police person to be politically correct?). Surely the police don't go to libraries in packs to choose books. Do the police even go to libraries? Someone's drilling on a wall. It's a long slow deeply resonant insult of a noise.

"What are the police doing here again?" I hear someone whisper to their friend. Again? Maybe I don't come to the library enough, but I can tell you this is the first time I've ever heard of the police turning up of their own volition to scare the clients of the library. Maybe it's some GET TOUGH ON BOOK LENDERS initiative. Maybe like the French police spot-checking cars round about Christmas and Easter time for extra funds for their office party.

These police shuffle about among the regulars and those who've wandered in to escape a sudden rain shower. I watch their well-shined leather boots. Their shins. I try to look up but something stops me. I don't want to exchange glances with them. I don't want such naked contact. They ask a person sat nearby if he's heard about the "killing"s.

Just like that, one of the two males just blurts it out. The female takes notes in her notepad while the person they're interrogtaing squirms uncomfortably in their seat. They look over in my direction. I can't focus on them. It's like my body is refusing to allow their image to resolve, as if they're in total defocus, well from the knees up at least.

I cough (because I have a cough today) and the police move on, sauntering like it's a lovely walk out in a summer park, with squirrels racing up trees and barking at each other, pigeons on the prowl for a partner, dogs chasing sticks. Just like that. I put my book back in my all-weather coat's inner lining pocket and follow the police to the exit. I follow them for about five minutes as they wander off up the St Aldates way. Chattering and laughing. They maybe had a bit of mischief with that person in the library. They maybe do that all the time, it is the official lunch hour after all. A bit of fun in the lunch hour. Nothing wrong with that.

Soon, though, another person catches my eye. I follow here for a bit, my hand on my butcher's knife...

[this has the makings of a good story... think I'll expand it.]

Tuesday, February 15, 2005


It's true, Blogging doesn't have to be about the deep stuff or the world-changing stuff... today I got a brand new coffee table. I'd seen the same model over at Courts for £140.00 but I bought mine at Argos (half-price sale item) for £30.00


Wednesday, February 09, 2005


Well, I know any book review is nothing more than someone's subjective opinion but here's a review that appears in the Ilford Recorder about the REDBRIDGE REVIEW'S new anthology...

Edited By Rotimi Ogunjobi
156 pp. $14.95 (£8.99)
Paperback 6"x9"
ISBN 1-4116-2346-0
Tee Publishing, 2892 Briar Ct, Tallahassee FL 32308

There are at least as many ways of literary expression as there are writers. This is the allure of reading anthologies. It is never a boring experience. The title of this new book is both apt and suggestive. THE PERSISTENCE OF DREAMS is the first of the themed anthologies based on works and authors previously published in the online magazine, THE REDBRIDGE REVIEW (

The book opens to an essay by Aberjhani, which chronicled the art and life of African-American artist Luther E. Vann. Aberjhani who is quickly achieving an impressive reputation as biographer of African-American heroes, is probably best known for his magnificent work on the ENCYCLOPEDIA OF THE HARLEM RENNAISANCE, which is a classic. This work is followed by a chilling narrative, by Mike Philbin, who is better known as Hertzan Chimera, and an icon in the surrealist fiction circles. This story titled A MEMORY MADE FLESH, appears to be an apocalyptic account of the day after the world ended; as most often Chimera eludes.

The in-depth review continues for a few more paragraphs... An icon in surrealist circles, eh? First I've heard of it. Is there something you guys aren't telling me?



The latest of the Free Fiction pieces I've uploaded to my website "Mike Philbin Online" is called SUBURBAN JUNKIE - and who the fuck invited the toy UFO?


SUBURBAN JUNKIE by Mike Philbin.

Monday, February 07, 2005


I've had a few people say,"Where's a link to your online 3d art works? You know, the ones you did for the recent 'Ghost Master' game and all'a that..."

Okay, I finally got round to uploading a portfolio of sorts. Here you'll find my current resumé, a selection of 3D ingame characters and a selection of ghostly character animations. Hope you enjoy them.


Sunday, February 06, 2005


Just got the latest Royalty Statement through from Double Dragon Press (the Canadian publisher who brought out my (Hertzan Chimera R.I.P.) Szmonhfu novel in ebook version some years back) and would you believe it, it's STILL flying off the shelves.

I say flying off the shelves, you know I'm lying.


But what is surprising is that, while interest in some of my other D.D.P. ebooks seems to have dried up to a trickle, Szmonhfu (what I consider my most flawed, wordy and overworked book) is still making pretty little sales noises, a glistening stream bisecting an otherwise barren desert. Yeah, man, like the Nile, dude. Every now and then the banks flood and joyous riches spill onto the parched land...

Get your selves and your credit cards off to or PalmDigitalMedia (who stock all my old ebooks in their relevant formats) and scare the pants off me with the next Royalty Statement. It could happen, that resurrestion of (what should officially be, by now) a dead book. Futures have grown frommore shrivelled acorns than this.

Sings, "Buy me a river!"



I've noticed a few Japanese readers arriving here (I'm becoming a bit of a GeoHit slut) via a multitude of routes. What I'd really like to do (if they exist) is find some Japanese mags who take (and translate from English into Kanji) English surrealism.

Any Japanese out there reading this who know of a good Japanese publication where I can submit my brand of scifi-horror-surrealism?

There are eight free online stories anyone interested can read, here.

Thursday, February 03, 2005


Step into the light, you six hundred or so regular readers of this blog; since adding a hitcounter a month back, I've realised that there are about 20 new readers PER DAY. That's quite a list of 600 people already this month - extrapolate that backwards to August when this blog began with the death of HC.

There may be thousands of (if not regular readers) then people who could have left comments on any of the entries, it's et to allow comments from anyone. Don't be afraid, I won't bite, roll up roll up, step into the Commenting Light.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005


Dear readers,

it is my great pleasure to inform you that I've just uploaded Free Fiction issue #8 to the Mike Philbin Online website.

This new tale of domestic bliss is called WELCOME TO SERIAL KILLER TOWN - enjoy! Or else I'll come visiting'

Tuesday, February 01, 2005


It's 7 am. Better jot this down in rough before I forget it. It's based on the contents of a dream, so here geos.

The universe is moving all the time. Yeah, we know this. No, not universal expansion. But localised electromagnetic radiation. Yeah, but we've been through this before, there is no ether. What I mean by 'ether' is a set of point masses moving through a medium. It's not that sort of understood (and heavily refuted) Newtonian ether. It's the way the universe works. Says who? Scientists? I think not.

Well... in the last couple days or so, I've been doing some "philosophy of science" reading. Yeah, me back on the science books like a bad habit I kicked in high school. Never again, I promised, I'm a t-totaller, not one formula has passed my forebrain since.

But the Philosophy of Science is interesting. It says why scientists are full of shit. Well, they're not really full of shit - they have NO IDEA what they're full of. They can never know. And they will always only ever assume. That they know something like the contents of a human is illogical for them. They know the sun will rise every morning, so they use Inductive Logic to suggest that's the way it will always be. They have data which they can record and analyse and extrapolate a curve from. They have never seen an electron - only its trace through bubble chambers - this is akin to never having seen a nail being hammered into a wall by a big hairy armed man. Modern science can only record the vectors and the forces at work around the spacetime of the nail. They wouldn't know what the wall was made of, nor the nail, nor would they be able to deduce the structure of the arm that's holding the hammer, nor whether it were a hairy male arm or a less-hairy female arm.

Think of a wooden house (let's use a box house like a shed) built by hammering these 'nails' into this 'wood'. By registering the 'hit's on the nails, their direction and strength, you can say temporally when the house was built and you can see structurally where the forces were exerted (it would even look like a box of force activity). But you'd have come nowhere near finding out the cause of the hammering or when it would happen again.

And that's how it is for the whole of science.

Deductive reasoning means you've looked at all the options, all the factors, catalogued them, compared them and come to a conclusion. But THE WHOLE OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY is not about this. It's about selective evidence to support Inductive Reasoning (that's guesswork, to you and me)

Let the world know, SCIENCE IS A FRAUD.

So, I'm now lots more confident in applying this inductive reasoning to my idea of the Universe, after all, it works within their own framework, why shouldn't it work within mine. It occurred to me last night before I dozed off, isn’t that always the way, that a the Universe is moving all the time. I don’t mean globally, as in Big Bang Expansion, I’ve never really got on very well with the idea of the Big Bang creation of spacetime idea. I have a theory called Universal Equilibrium.

In this theory, the universe is settling debts, it does this at the frequency and speed of eletromagnetic radiation or c (Einstein’s famous speed of light). This is the fastest that any local transaction can be resolved – it’s not about something moving through some ether, it’s about the spacetime itself shuffling around until it’s happy that all is well and equalised based on local stresses and point masses. The universe doesn’t “know” there’s an imbalance, it just fills one in when it finds it. The classic example of this is the light bulb. The tungsten filament is electrified, locally that makes an imbalance, Universal Equilibrium fills in the imbalance at c, repeat for further localities of spacetime around the electrified tungsten filament so that a wave of light “appears” to flow out (when actually the universe is jumping in towards the source).

By doing this, we see that we have a very complex but beautifully logical reason for what a photon is. The question then arises, can we have photons of any ‘size’? Well, yes, of course we can. Based on the electromagnetic interaction of lots of atoms and molecules, in say a star, we can say that an imbalance is generated and Universal Equilibrium zooms in to fill the gap - a Gravity Photon is generated. This Gravity Photon is resolved at the speed of light, of course, the universe can’t move any faster. A Gravity Photon would seem to swell out from the planet like light belting out of a torch – even though the universe is actually rushing in to sort out the imbalance.

But it goes even deeper than this.

There was structure BEFORE there was matter. Structure and tension allowed matter to ‘form’ or condense out of its stresses. This way another axiom (that of connected action) can take place in our logic model of the universe. Take two planets in space. How can they exert a force on each other. It has been proven time and time again that there is no gravity force within an ‘atom’. Or at least it hasn’t been found (hence the invention of string theory to try to find it). Universal Equilibrium says that the structure that made the stresses of the universe first made the environment of the matter – the stars the planets came from were already connected by the supergravity structures that helped form the universe we see today. The stars and therefore their gravitationally held planets were always connected. Part of the same environment.

There truly is no other way to look at the universe other than this holistic approach. So, scientists, get your noses up from your Planck lengths and see the universe as it really is. Look globally for stresses that resolve local imbalance and find the key to the future of space travel.

For example: imagine a man-sized photon...